The Perfect Employee

Bob’s Annual Review:

01 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
02 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
03 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
04 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
05 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
06 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
07 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
08 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
09 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.

That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent
to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd lines.

An image of a lot of cubicles that seem to go ...
Image via Wikipedia

Don’t be afraid to give out ideas. Don’t hog it. Give it away, for you’d be surprised to find that somehow it’ll come back to you for the better.

I was asked two days ago to give some comments about a contest that Head Office were supposed to be doing for my workplace. The contest was supposed to kick off by next week but I guess they conveniently forgot to inform the people on site about it; that’s right, they forgot to inform me and my team about it.

So I did the next best thing I could do; thank them for having the contest here while also ‘thanking’ them by giving them a piece of my mind about the contest. I threw them some ideas of my own on how the contest should have been organised, which indirectly meant I was criticizing them on their original plans.

Guess what? They told me yesterday that the contest has been shelved and that I am to propose a new one based on my earlier ‘rants’. Hmm… so much for my big mouth then.

So I got down to thinking about it last night, mind-mapping the things I needed to present today so that it looks convincing.

I discussed it at length with my team this morning before dishing it out nicely in Powerpoint to be sent to Head Office for their review. Now to wait for their response on my proposal, to see whether they bought into it.

So don’t be afraid to speak up if you’re right (or if you feel you’re right). Shoot them on their ideas and then offer one of your own. You might be surprised that sometimes even dickheads bosses have some common sense too. Do it objectively and you won’t be looked upon as being vindictive.

Remember, we’re the grown-ups; we talk reasoning.

Half Year Hiatus

It’s been half a year since I last blogged. Time flies when you’re (NOT) having fun.

I’ve sort of ‘disappeared’ from blogging here due to certain situations beyond my control, where I just didn’t have the strength or motivation to carry on as I used to. The last six months has been a struggle for me to maintain my professional integrity and work ethics, seeing that things didn’t exacty go my way.

The last six months has gone, and it’s time for me to slowly get back into the groove of things. I will need to remind myself of the management principles that I have set upon myself, as I continue to struggle and climb my way to the top tiers of management via the only way I can:

The Cool, Calm and Collected Way To The TOP!

Has this ever happened to you?

You start your day thinking you have all the time in the world to finish your project and meet the deadline.

Then you check your e-mail…

Then the phone rings…

Then you find out it’s your turn to make the company coffee run…

Then you make the mistake of asking your co-worker (the really chatty one) how their day is going…

And before you know it, it’s 5 o’clock already! And you’re not even halfway to getting your project done. And that means you’ll have to stay late again just to cope.

Time is a powerful force in your life. Most people allow it to control them; constantly trying to catch up and get ahead. Yet time can be a commodity that you can use to your advantage, by controlling your time instead of allowing it to control you.

By managing your time effectively, you can finish what you need to do, and have time to do what you want to do.

It’s been a quite a while since I last posted something here. The fact that my online access has been restricted due to circumstances not to my liking. Add to the fact that I was cooped up at a conference for days without any form of communication allowable compounded my posting absence.

I hope to make arrangements to get back into the groove within these few weeks, as it’ll take time for my arrangements to work out right.

Unrealistic Expectations

Earlier I mentioned about being short of the boss’ expectations, which I feel is prevalent in most corporations today. It seems ironic that when society in general becomes more advanced, the more pressured it is in some of our expectations.

You would have thought that bosses today would be more exposed to better schools of thinking in management aspects but the reality is that most bosses are unrealistic in their expectations. It is agreed that the right amount of expectation and pressure can be a positive influence and help to challenge and motivate to the best. Unfortunately, most bosses don’t know what exactly is the right amount, thus just pile it on and expect the right results to come.

Psychological affects of unrealistic expectations include:

  1. Stress
  2. Anxiety
  3. Depression
  4. Guilt
  5. Low self-esteem.

I can’t emphasize enough about the need for balance in work and in life. As leaders, it is up to us to find the right balance of pressure and expectation to be given to our staff. You can’t just pile it on till it hurts before making adjustments; it’ll be too late by then, the damage would have been done.

If our bosses set unrealistic expectations for us, we have to choose the right opportunity to voice our concerns on the matter. Keeping quiet and letting it be would not solve the problem, unless you want to live with the pressure. At the right place and at the right time, we need to make it known to our bosses of this unhealthy practise.

The world is changing, and the way we do our work would need to change too. We must dare to be heard, dare to be angry and dare to take action to rectify the situation. Fortune favors the bold and in this ever changing world, I believe this would be true. Look at it this way: if the bosses won’t change, then they’ll have to pay the price by being changed involuntarily. Sooner or later, it will happen. A form of retribution, perhaps? Maybe, just maybe…

Lifted from my mentor’s blog.

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth.

He takes the note and it reads “Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please? The dog has money in its mouth, as well.”

The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog’s mouth. The butcher is so impressed, and since it’s about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog.

So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a level crossing the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn green. When the light turns green, the dog walk across the road, with the butcher following him behind.

The dog then comes to a bus stop. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it. The butcher follows the dog into the bus. The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. The butcher nearly fainted at this sight. The dog then sits near the driver looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house

The dog opens the big iron gate and rushes inside towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at
him. The butcher became angry and walks up to the guy.

“What in heaven’s name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me!

The guy responded: “You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog has forgotten to bring along the house key.”

Moral of the story

You may continue to exceed onlookers expectations but shall always fall short of the boss’ expectations.

It’s a dog’s life after all….. A smart dog, but still only a dog.